Why nice guys finish last
Jerks always get the girls, while the nice guys lose out. Why?
Well, I have a theory. Girls like the challenge of bringing out the smallest nugget of a good heart in that so called “jerk.” Perhaps the glory of being able to conquer and tame that douche bag is what they are seeking. The best analogy I could come up with is that for women, turning a jerk into a nice guy is like taking away his virginity. He doesn’t necessarily have to be completely transformed into a nice guy though. All that matters at first is that he is gentle and loving toward that one girl(friend). That way, she gets all his attention while he turns away all other girls by being his typical jerk self.
Girls don’t necessarily fall for full out jerks. They fall for the jerk with a pinch of niceness on the inside, ready to be released by the girl of his dreams. She’s the only one who can unlock his true loving and caring heart. With this special ability, a girl feels as if she is making a difference in the life of that jerk. She feels as if she is giving back to the community and making the world a better place, by transforming the beast into a friendly pet animal, one step at a time.
Nice guys are left behind. With no challenge to be fought, a girl feels as if her own good heart isn’t being put to good use. What’s more, according to a theory popularized by Wong Fu Productions, it’s harder for a nice guy to give special treatment to a girl he truly likes, because he’s already nice to all the girls he meets. How is the girl supposed to know she’s different? A jerk on the other hand, only has to reveal his inner goodness to show a girl that she’s special, for she’s the only one who can change him for the better. Nice guys, where’s your ammo to compete?
A boyfriend is like a best friend
Keeping with the theme of analogies: a boyfriend is like a best friend. Doesn’t this sound like some timeless adage that you’ve heard before? “Your boyfriend should be like your best friend,” they say. This probably explains why a lot of people start out as friends first before becoming a couple.
There are several reasons why a boyfriend is like a best friend. The first reason often seen in those “Dear Abby” advice columns is that sometimes girls will ditch their own best friends for their new found boyfriend. Additionally, you two spend all your spare time together, you finish each others’ sentences, you can practically read each others’ minds, and you care a lot for each other. Whenever you are having a bad moment, you can rely on the best/boyfriend to cheer you up. Basically, you’re “inseparable.” The best/boyfriend is always there for you whenever you need him, and hopefully you trust each other. You share memorable moments together and have deep personal talks. You probably make sacrifices for each other and do favors without asking anything in return. Sounds pretty much like a best friend, right?
The part when the analogy breaks down is that you can say “BFF” or “Best Friends Forever,” but there’s no such thing a as a boyfriend forever. It’s funny how the once inseparable boyfriend who resembled a best friend can all of a sudden vanish into thin air within seconds as if nothing was there to begin with. Funny is probably not the best word to use — maybe interesting would be better, but funny seems to lighten up the mood. If the relationship somehow doesn’t work out, the once boy/best friend is no longer there to hug you, to dry your tears, or to tell you everything will be okay. You’re all on your own unless you have a real best friend. Someone who is really there for you through thick and thin Forever.
After all, a boyfriend is only like a best friend, not actually a best friend, and the analogy stops there. Generally, boyfriends can be replaced, whether it’s in days or years. Best friends I’ve heard can last a lifetime, hence BFF. Boyfriends may stick around for a few weeks to a few years, but best friends never leave you (figuratively). In the long run, separate love from friendship and you can cover your back. Mix the two, and you leave yourself more vulnerable to pain and loneliness.
It seems like in our society, there’s only HF (Husband Forever) or nothing. But wait, even then, make sure you have the insurance of a best friend in case the big bad Divorce comes your way. However, assuming there were no harsh feelings or offenses that caused the break up, why can’t a boyfriend always be a friend, although not necessarily always a boyfriend? How hard are you willing to fight to keep your once best/boyfriend a friend? And even if you are willing to, would he let you? Would society let you? Would society let him let you?
To all of you out there who have best friends, cherish them. To all of you who are best friends, know that you are irreplaceable.
